Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
