we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
