Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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