i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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