I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize