watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
