dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
