Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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