she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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