I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize