jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
