When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
