i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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