He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
