She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
