Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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