I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
