Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
