You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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