I met the friendliest cop last night
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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