She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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