There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
