Your mouth is God's brothel.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
