Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize