I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
