2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
