I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
