whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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