So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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