You smell like a Billy Joel song
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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