Heybabeimwearingurpanties
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
