O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
