Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
