if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize