I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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