I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
