i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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