32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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