I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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