Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
