I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
