Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
