Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
