How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
