And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
