I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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