I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
