If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
