Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think your dad took our porno
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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