You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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