walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
