in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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