why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
