My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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