i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
