Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
