the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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