the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize