a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize