my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
