I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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