You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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