whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
