So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I love you.
Bad choice
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
