Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
