No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
