love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
