I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
