brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
