One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
