like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
